


Une Traviata Pour l'Éternité

by orphan_account



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: M/M, Multi, Questionable Lifestyle, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:48:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23611054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Stéphane came back to the hotel room which he shared with Deniss after a banquet.
Relationships: Stéphane Lambiel & Deniss Vasiljevs, Stéphane Lambiel/Others
Kudos: 10





	Une Traviata Pour l'Éternité

Stéphane looked at his watch when the lift door opened. It’s way past midnight, and Stéphane finally came back to his hotel room. In fact, it should be their hotel room, as he shared a twin room with Deniss.

Deniss normally goes to bed very early, even if there’s a banquet after a major competition. He didn’t like socializing that much-a striking contrast to his coach, a man who seemed to be able to get along well with anybody and is loved by everybody.

Confident that Deniss must be asleep now, Stéphane swiped the key card and carefully pushed the door open. He could take a quick shower before going to bed, and hopefully he wouldn’t wake Deniss up. Generally, from past experiences, Deniss isn’t a light sleeper.

“Stéph?”

Deniss called him softly just as he was about to step into the bathroom. Stéphane was startled for a moment, before he took a deep breath and answered his student. “Deniss? Did I wake you up?”

“No,” the young athlete said, voice gentle but clearly not sleepy, “I wasn’t sleeping.” He turned the bedside light on, letting the warm yellow light fill the room. “Are you alright?” Maybe it was just the light, maybe it was just too late at night, but Stéphane believed that he heard something different from it. It was almost like his own questions when his skaters were having a bad day at the rink.

“I am, why?” He tried to make himself sound as normal as possible, “Don’t worry, I didn’t drink too much tonight. It’s still a competition, and I know I am a coach-”

Deniss nodded, his golden hair shiny and radiant under the light. “As long as you don’t trip on floor mat or something silly like that.” He kept the bedside lamp on until Stéphane turned the bathroom light on and closed the door, and he just half-sat on the bed, with his fingers interlaced. He could feel his own heartbeat, and he was trying to choose the appropriate words and phrases for later.

“Deniss? Am I keeping you up?” Stéphane obviously noticed that his skater was still awake when he stepped out of bathroom.

Deniss didn’t speak until Stéphane walked to his bed and sat down. “I just wanted to ask,” he turned the light down a little bit, “Are you really alright? I’m not referring to alcohol or things like that.”

Does he know it? Stéphane sat there, motionless, not sure if he was brave enough to look straight into Deniss’s eyes. To be honest, it would be unrealistic to assume Deniss knew nothing about it. It’s more or less an open secret right now.

“Stéph.” Deniss’s voice was still soft and gentle, “Don’t worry if you don’t want to talk about it, or if you’re tired now. You know, I was thinking maybe I need to let you know that, no matter what, you’re the best coach and friend I could ever imagine and ask for.” He rubbed his nose tip and blinked his eyes, quietly praying that he had said something right, “Um, good night?”

Stéphane slowly turned to his skater. “Deniss.” He sighed and decided to just face it, “So, how much do you know? Is there anything you want to ask me?”

Deniss didn’t quite expect this. He wouldn’t assume, but he knew what normally happens after the official banquet. And most of the times, he was awake when Stéphane come back to their shared room late at night, entering quietly without turning the lights on, taking quick showers in the bathroom before going to bed, and letting his inner child take over for a moment the next morning by ignoring the first alarm clock.

“I…I heard about it a couple of years ago, about things after the official banquet, and during the off-season shows.” Deniss spoke very slowly, carefully selecting every word. “I mean…I know those after-parties do not only involve alcohol?”

“Well,” Stéphane huffed, “I’m lying to myself in assuming, or hoping, that you don’t know it.” He sighed and sat up right on the mattress, “If you-”

Deniss interrupted his coach before he could say anything. “No. No, Stéph. I’m not implying anything else. Like I said, I just want to know if you’re alright, and if you are…happy, I guess? With what is, and have been, happening.”

“That’s a question which I may not have an answer to.” Stéphane combed his half-dry hair with his fingers, “But generally…I’m content with where my life is leading me to now.”

They sat there in silence for a couple more minutes. Deniss could almost see the shadows casted the strands of wet hair on Stéphane’s forehead, and Stéphane could see the outline of his skater’s lips under the dim light.

“It started a long time ago.” Stéphane broke the silence as he realized that Deniss wasn’t about to sleep soon, “when I was still competing. I’d say…2006? 2007? Around these years, when I was pretty young, silly and impulsive. It was between some of my contemporaries, and no, I’m not going to say who they are.” He stared at the wall, “Questionable life choices at that time.”

Deniss just stared at his coach. His gentle, loving and supportive coach, sometimes a nagging mother figure, someone whom he knew would always have his back, now appeared to be so vulnerable and fragile under warm light, in this small hotel room.

“There are a lot of things going on in the last few years of my competitive career. I was thinking a lot and questioning myself a lot, you know, it’s not a conventional lifestyle and it was mostly frowned upon.” Stéphane continued, “but in the end, I think I reconciled with myself. Well…Violetta, or Marguerite, is a morally grey character, but who can say she’s a terrible villain?”

“You chose La Traviata to end your competitive career.” Deniss murmured, “Were you her in that programme?-I mean, were you in her character?”

“Yes, and no.” Stéphane answered. “I said, I want to please people, and I was sometimes sleeping with different people at night. But I’m far luckier than her. Now I’m doing what I want to do, I’m doing what I always love to do, despite we’re living in a world far from ideal. I have opportunities to create and express, I get inspirations from some random things.”

Deniss couldn’t notice the hint of genuine smile at the corner of Stéphane’s lips when he spoke of all these. Maybe he’s happy after all. “I always thought it’s going to be incredibly awkward to talk about this, and I don’t even know why I brought this up tonight.” Deniss turned the light up a little bit more, “Was I pushing you?”

Stéphane shook his head, still with that smile on. “No. I’m sorry to…um, lie to you? Or not telling you about it? It must be something heavy to bear when you know it and couldn’t bring it up. Wait,” He suddenly looked at his skater with concern, “Well, people more or less know who I am and all these things I do…Have you been bullied or…worse, because of this?” He is genuinely worried for Deniss right now. He should have thought about this before.

Deniss pushed his blankets aside and moved to sit on the edge of his bed. “I’ll be honest. I did hear people talking about it, but I don’t care. They can be judgmental and mean, but I don’t have to talk to them, or make friends with them, or make them like me-or you.”

Stéphane sighed. “I’m sorry that you have to deal with it because of me. If you want to switch-”

“No. I’m not doing anything.” Deniss raised his voice, probably a little bit too much, as he saw his coach shiver a bit because of it. “I’ve said you’re the best coach and friend I could ever imagine and ask for. I believe that I’ve made a good informed choice when I first knew this…about you.”

“Deniss.” Stéphane forced a smile, “you don’t have to.”

“It’s true.” Deniss looked straight into Stéphane’s brown eyes, and he knew there’s something he could not really decipher. “You know, when others say that Champéry is the place that they’d be happiest training in, when people come back again and again for camps, I’m sure they agree with me. I’m so grateful for all you’ve given me professionally, maybe personally as well. And I don’t, and shouldn’t care about your private life. It’s between you and other consenting adults-unless you tell me otherwise.”

“It is, up to now.” Stéphane confirmed, “Right…thank you, Deniss. I know a ‘thank you’ isn’t enough, but…”

“Oh, you’re more than welcome.” Deniss raised a brow, “Can I ask something from you?”

Stéphane nodded.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Wait, Deniss, you’re my student.” Stéphane frowned. Although he does sleep with others quite casually, but a coach-student relationship? That’s still too much.

Deniss squeezed his face and tried to make it funny. “I’m not implying that. I know that if it were to happen between us, no matter what the circumstances are, no matter who initiated it, no matter if it was consensual or not, you’ll be the one to get into trouble. And I’m not doing it.”

Stéphane breathed a sigh of relief. “So?”

Deniss stood up and took a step towards his coach, gently cupped his cheeks with both palms and lifted his head up a little bit. He stared into the man’s brown eyes, and bowed his own head to press a kiss onto his forehead.

“Good night, Stéph.” Deniss said as he let his coach go, “I think we made a good choice when booking an afternoon flight.”


End file.
